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Resolutions Part Two - Why we fail

What happens? Why don't we stick to our resolutions? Resolution is such a powerful and important sounding word. Let's start by looking into what it actually means.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary 'resolution' is defined as:

  1. A firm decision to do or not to do something. (To make a New Year's resolution.)

  2. The quality of being determined. (To handle a situation with resolution.)

  3. The action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter. (To come to a resolution.)

So, decide, be determined and solve a problem - makes sense.

However, looking further...

Resolution/Resolve: From Late Middle English means to dissolve, disintegrate, and solve (as in a problem'.

And from the Latin "resolvere", re- meaning to express intensive force, and 'solvere ' to thoroughly loosen.

Looking even further I found an interesting phrase: Resolving Power.

Resolving power is defined as the ability to separate or distinguish.

Perhaps herein lies the source of the problem. To make and succeed with a resolution we need to make a decision and be determined, but there is more. What things are you holding on to, that - if you "loosened your grip (let go of) could be of help?

If you could clearly identify and separate out these things, you could recognize the affect they are having on your behavior, giving you the choice and ability to do something different.

Successful resolutions need resolving power - the ability to separate or distinguish what supports your current behavior so you can let go of what does not serve you. And then choose how you want to be and make the change with intention and success.

The kinds of things to explore and consider letting go of: ideas, values, and beliefs. These are the things that really get in the way of change.

We fail with resolutions - or anytime we want to make a change - because we focus on the behavior. But the behavior is simply a result of an internal process of choice. Our beliefs and values influence everything we do; it is a core internal process. Our behaviors are simply in response.

Until you explore how they affect you - consciously or unconsciously - true, sustainable change is not possible.

Up next: Resolutions Part Three - Resolving Power in Action

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